


A Burden Shared

by anxious_logic



Series: Soulmate September 2020 [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Broken Bones, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26326855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxious_logic/pseuds/anxious_logic
Summary: Patton – Age 3“Ow!”Patton gasped as he pulled his hand towards his chest. It felt like he’d gotten a boo-boo on his finger from the coloring book, but he couldn’t see anything.“Mommy?” he called, looking up to find his mom. “Mommy!”His mom poked his head out from her office.“What is it, sweetie?”Patton held out his finger, sniffling. “My finger has a boo-boo but I can’t find it.”His mom’s face made a weird look. She didn’t say anything for a minute.She walked over to where Patton was and picked him up, propping him up on her hip.“Okay, Patton. Do you know anything about soulmates?”
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: Soulmate September 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907686
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	A Burden Shared

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate September Day 6: When your soulmate is injured you will experience pain in that area.
> 
> Content Warnings: Unsafe binding, food mention, self-harm mention, dysphoria, broken bones
> 
> I am not trans; please let me know if Logan's portrayal is incorrect/offensive!

_Patton – Age 3_

“Ow!”

Patton gasped as he pulled his hand towards his chest. It felt like he’d gotten a boo-boo on his finger from the paper, but he couldn’t see anything.

“Mommy?” he called, looking up to find his mom. “Mommy!”

His mom poked his head out from her office.

“What is it, sweetie?”

Patton held out his finger, sniffling. “My finger has a boo-boo but I can’t find it.”

His mom’s face made a weird look. She didn’t say anything for a minute.

She walked over to where Patton was and picked him up, propping him up on her hip.

“Okay, Patton. Do you know anything about soulmates?”

***

_Lisa – Age 6_

Lisa was frustrated.

Now, this wasn’t exactly rare for her. She experienced frustration on a quite regular basis; usually caused by something to do with her classmates or teachers. But this particular brand of frustration was quite new to her.

“Lisa, just put on the dress!” Her father said, exasperated at having to repeat himself yet again.

“No!” she insisted. “I don’t want to wear a dress, I want to wear pants.”

“I told you, you have to wear a dress to visit your grandmother. We’ve been over this. Put on the dress.”

“No.”

Lisa sat down where she was, refusing to move. If her father wanted her to wear a dress, he would have to manhandle her into it.

Then she had an idea.

“It’s because my soulmate,” she said quietly.

Her father froze.

“What about him?”

“They hurt their shoulder yesterday. It still hurts today. The dress wouldn’t feel good on it.”

Lisa only felt a little guilty manipulating her father; he had no way to prove whether her soulmate had hurt their shoulder or not, he just had to trust her on it. But she felt so bad about wearing a dress that she would go as far as lying so as to avoid wearing it.

“I- fine. But you have to wear a dress next time, okay?”

Lisa didn’t respond.

***

_Virgil – Age 9_

Virgil had been playing on the playground when he screamed in pain, clutching his left leg.

“Ow ow ow ow ow-“ he cried, tears running down his face. The playground monitor came running, pushing the children who had mobbed around Virgil out of the way.

“What happened?” she asked, seeing that there wasn’t any visible injury.

“I- My soulmate did something, it hurts, it hurts so bad,” Virgil said, barely able to get the words out over the pain.

The monitor sighed. “Probably a broken leg,” she said. “C’mon, let’s get you to the office. They can figure out what you need from there.” She scooped him up into his arms, shooing the other children back to their play.

***

_Patton – Age 12_

When Patton had fallen out of a tree and broken and dislocated various parts of his leg at age nine, he’d had to accept with the idea that he wasn’t the only one having to deal with so much pain. It had hurt so much, and even once he got the painkillers it still hurt a little – he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without doctors there at every moment to help him manage it. Even now, he still got leftover pain occasionally, slipping up on him like the elementary school bullies: familiar but unwelcome.

Now, he was maybe beginning to understand what it might have been like.

His ribs hurt, all the time. Regardless of what he did, it hurt to breathe too hard or too fast. When he pressed on them, it felt like he was being stabbed with a blunt object. He was also getting really bad cramps in his stomach every month.

It really wasn’t fun.

His mom said he probably had a girl for a soulmate, which would explain the cramps. If that was the case, Patton thought it was probably a platonic bond; he couldn’t really see himself kissing a girl.

He winced as his stomach hurt more, and wondered what was happening to his soulmate, that he hurt so much through their bond.

He hoped they were okay.

***

_Logan – Age 15_

Logan hissed as he felt a stinging feeling on his wrists.

 _Dammit,_ he thought as he looked down. There wasn’t any reason for the pain on his wrists; it was one of his soulmates.

When he was twelve, and was just beginning to grow breasts, he had begun to bind them with bandages. He knew how dangerous that was – he’d researched what was going on in his mind, and how to make it feel better, before resorting to them – but he just hadn’t been able to handle it. He’d had to do something. Then he started getting his period, getting cramps along with the dysphoric blood. It was horrendous. He’d hoped that he was the only one going through mental pain affecting their everyday life.

But now his soulmate was cutting. Evidently, they were going through something incredibly unpleasant too.

He genuinely hoped that their bond was only two-way – he couldn’t imagine having his binding and his soulmates’ cutting to deal with, while probably having minimal personal problems with pain. There was the broken leg a few years ago, but that didn’t really count.

He determinedly flipped his math textbook open, ready to work his way through his homework and ignore his soulmate’s pain, as well as his own cramps.

There was nothing he could do about it right now, anyway.

***

_Virgil – Age 18_

Virgil glanced down at the old scars on his wrist, rubbing them slightly. When he was fifteen, it had been a dark time for him – the only way he had known that anyone could feel positive things for him was through the soulmate bond, and even that was only shown through pain. He’d gotten a lot better since then – amazing what therapy and meds could do – but he still couldn’t help but be reminded of the feeling, sometimes.

He thought of his ribs, how they had hurt every day for a solid eighteen months. He thought of his leg, which still lanced with pain every so often. He thought of his wrists, how he’d hurt himself purposely for months before stopping.

He knew he’d be okay.

He stepped into his dorm room on the college campus, ready to start the next part of his life.

***

_Patton – Age 21_

“Virge, love, I’m going out for coffee with a friend, okay? Do you want anything?”

He and Virgil had met each other during their first day of freshman orientation. Patton had stood up wrong on his leg and collapsed, bruising his arms on the way down. When he looked up, it was to see another boy leaning on a desk to favor his leg and holding his arm close to his chest. They’d figured out pretty quickly that they were soulmates.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Virgil called out from where he was working on an art assignment. “Have fun,” he tacked on as he frowned at his screen.

They had gone for a walk that evening, after their orientation events were done for the day. They’d talked about the major pains they’d been through – Patton’s leg, Virgil’s wrist, and someone else’s chest and stomach.

Apparently, despite Virgil’s wishes to the contrary, they had another soulmate.

“Okay. Be back soon!”

Patton hummed lightly to himself as he made his way to the coffeeshop on campus. He was planning on meeting Logan there so that they could work on their philosophy project together.

As he opened the door to the shop, he scanned the tables to see if the other boy was around yet. It didn’t look like he was, so Patton stepped up to the counter and ordered for himself – hot chocolate and a cookie.

He sat down at an open table, getting out his computer and a notebook. He looked up when Logan sat down across from him, an iced coffee in hand.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hi!” Patton said back cheerfully. Logan looked tired today – Patton hoped he’d slept okay the night before-

“ _Ouch,”_ Patton said suddenly, his thoughts distracted, as a lance of pain shot through the fingers of his left hand. “Virgil, what did you do,” he muttered, shaking his hand out. He looked up, to see Logan staring at him, his face white as a sheet. He was cradling his left hand to his chest.

“Sorry about that, my soulmate must’ve smooshed his fingers in a cupboard or something,” Patton said cheerfully. Logan shook his head slowly.

“I… that certainly is an interesting coincidence, is it not?” he said. “Because I believe mine just did the same thing as well.”

Patton gasped, his thoughts scattering every which way. “I can’t believe it! You’re our other soulmate!” he squealed, reaching across the table to grab Logan’s uninjured hand. “You’ll have to meet Virgil, he’ll love you, I know it. You two can get into so many interesting discussions-!”

Logan smiled slightly. “Uh- sure,” he said. “Show me?”

***

_Virgil – Age 21_

Virgil sucked in a breath at the sudden pain that came with slamming his fingers into the doorframe.

 _“Fuck,”_ he hissed, shaking his fingers out. He’d have to apologize to Patton for that one; it’d hurt to write for the next few hours, and he knew Patton was supposed to be out working on an assignment for quite a while.

His phone buzzed, a notification coming through.

 _Stay at home,_ a text from Patton read. Another one lit his phone up just seconds later. _Found other soulmate. Bringing him over to meet you._

Virgil’s jaw dropped. He’d known that they had another soulmate – where else could the pain in his chest and stomach come from – but it hadn’t really, truly registered before now that the universe thought that there were two people that he could spend the rest of his life with.

He quickly moved to start cleaning the tiny living room, clearing off the papers and books from the couch and finding places to put the junk that had accumulated on the coffee table. He was interrupted by the sound of Patton’s laughing while he had a stack of textbooks in his arms, ready to bring them to the bedroom.

“Virgil’s here somewhere,” Patton said. “Virge? I’m home!”

Virgil came out of the bedroom, nervously wiping his hands on his pants. “Uh, hi,” he mumbled. “I’m Virgil-“

He looked up, and his jaw dropped. “Logan!” He felt his cheeks go red.

“Virgil?” the other boy asked, surprised. Patton looked between the two.

“Oh, you know each other already? Great!”

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “We were in astronomy together last semester.”

Patton eyes went wide. “Oh, I see.”

Logan looked between the two of them. “I don’t know if I like the sound of that?” he said hesitantly. Virgil’s cheeks only got warmer.

“Uh- I just- Patton and I had quite a few conversations about opening our relationship so that I could maybe date you. Um. That didn’t happen because I kept chickening out, but- yeah.”

Logan smiled. “Then it works out for the better that we were told we belong together, yes?”

Virgil nodded frantically. “Uh. Yeah. I guess. Yep.”

Logan gently put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, slipping his other hand into Patton’s palm.

“Can we sit down to talk?”

***

_Logan – Age 21_

Patton led the three of them to the living room, sitting himself down on the loveseat and tucking his legs up underneath him. Virgil chose to sprawl on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, leaving Logan free to choose between the couch or the single armchair. Patton patted next to him, so Logan hesitantly sat down on the other cushion, crossing his legs uncomfortably.

“So, just to clear the air,” Virgil started. “I cut when I was fifteen, six years ago – that’s what the wrist pain was, for months there. Patton fucked up his leg at age nine – twelve years ago – and it never healed right. We have a mystery soulmate who had really bad chest pains for about eighteen months, starting almost ten years ago now – it hurt to breathe too quickly or hard. There’s really bad lower abdomen cramps about once a month, for the last ten-ish years too. I can’t think of anything else major. Does that line up with your soulpains too?”

Logan took a deep breath. “I… yes. The cramps and chest pain… that was – is – me. I, um. You were blunter than I expected. But, uh – I’m trans. So… yeah. I did… unsafe binding for a long time. That’s- that’s what the chest pain was about. And… periods suck. That’s what that’s about.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Fuck, that must be hard. I- sorry for being so blunt. That… probably wasn’t how you wanted to come out.”

Logan laughed slightly. “No, I- you’re fine.”

Patton suddenly nodded hard. “So we’re all soulmates, we think?”

Virgil and Logan looked at each other uncertainly and nodded.

“Great,” Patton said. Then he paused. “If we… feel anything… can we text each other? I kind of have a weird fear that we’ll all be super happy and everything, and we have another person who hasn’t had anything super big? And that we’ll miss them? And they have to deal with all of this pain and never meet us and get to know why and feel the good parts of a soulbond?”

“That makes sense,” Logan said. He pulled out his phone to make a group chat. He paused, and looked up over the top of the phone, blushing.

“I- I really enjoy spending time with both of you,” he said. “I can’t wait to get to know you better.”

Patton grinned at him. “Maybe it’ll make the pain better too, all the time. Sharing is caring, right?”

Virgil smiled slightly. “Hopefully, it’ll help with all sorts of things. Meeting Patton made me feel a lot better mentally. I- Maybe we can do the same for you?”

Logan reached over to hold both of their hands. “I look forward to it.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's a long one... maybe the trend will continue.
> 
> Comment/kudos if you liked this?
> 
> I'm also on tumblr @anxious-logic!


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